Do you want the good news or the bad news?... Does it really matter?

I've been told that a man has between 5-8 moments in his life that could completely change everything. These might include graduations, getting married, having a child, or getting that all inclusive job offer. Without a doubt these events make you look in the mirror and realize that your life, and perhaps levels of motivation and happiness, are going to change forever.

But, often we "look in the mirror" on news that doesn't change our lives drastically in the end. Maybe an email from a boss saying performance was poor on a project or a phone call saying a relative is no longer with us. This is news that makes us reflect on the decisions were making on a day to day basis.  We may ask ourselves: what am I doing wrong? what can I do to get better? Or we simply take time out of our day to think about that something for a period of time. Does it actually change our lives drastically? Research would argue, probably not.

A study by Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert found that in fact you have what he calls a "psychological immune system." After he conducted studies on how people dealt with negative events happening in their lives, he coined this term. We tend to overestimate the actual impact negative events have on our future self; when asked our happiness levels weeks and months after the negative event, we had reported higher levels of happiness than we had initially reported we would have right after the event happened, meaning the event didn't really affect our future selves as much as we thought it might. (Gilbert et. al 1998). This recovery in emotion after an event is what Gilbert calls the psychological immune system. In fact, as many Gilbert studies point out, we're pretty bad at predicting how any event is going to make us feel in the future, even events that fall in the positive spectrum. 

So, why don't these events motivate us to change? The fact is that a singular event often doesn't register into actions that support change in ones environment unless organized steps are taken with the effort of change in mind. In order to create an effect of real change you must make a conscious effort to change your environment and habits. Where you are, who you hang out with and talk to may be products of your environment. Your habits include your daily, weekly, or even monthly routines.

So you just got an email from your boss saying the last assignment you worked on wasn't up to par, he didn't like it very much. Now you're nervous, maybe asking yourself, do I have the ability to perform at this company? Do I have the skill set to be successful and rise up the ladder to success? You may even go into deeper questions like does this place make me happy? Would I be happier somewhere else? The answer to those questions is... it's probably not as bad as you think. The event that's happening right now isn't going to be affecting you in the same manner next week or maybe even the next day. 

Next time you get that bad news and it starts getting you down, try remember that according to Gilbert's research, your future self may not be as impacted as the now self. Additionally, maybe look to make a better and brighter future by taking conscious steps to changing your environment and habits.

Eli